Curly Lambeau Football League
08-05-2069
#87|Hands Espenson Wide Receiver
Retired (2039, Age 35)
BIOGRAPHICAL DATA
Total Rating C+  Help Conditioning 95%
Status Retired (2039) Potential D-
Age 64 Born 09-03-2004 in Baltimore, MD
Drafted Round 5, Pick 80 (2026) Experience 4 Years (100 Wks)
College Syracuse College, 2026 Salary 620 ($41.326M/2069 $)
OFFENSE DEFENSE SPEC TEAMS
Throw Power C- Catching B- Pass Cover C- Kick Power C 
Throw Acc D- Pass Blocking D- Run Cover D- Kick Acc D-
Carrying C- Run Blocking D- Tackling D- Kick Return B-
        Pursuit D-    
PHYSICAL MENTAL DEXTERITY
Speed B- Stamina C+ Execution B- Agility B-
Strength D- Health F  Aggressiveness B  Hands C 
Jumping C+     Attitude B  Break Tackle C 
ROLES
QB D+ C D- DT D  SS D+ K D- GUN C 
WR C+ G D- DE D  FS C- P D  KR C 
HB/TB C- T D  ILB D  CB C- LS D- KRB C-
FB D+ TE C- OLB D  H D+ HT B- KOS D-
YearTypeQBRBWRTECGTDTDELBCBSKPST
2026Game  17.63.3           
2028Game  37.24.0           
2029Game  38.60.8           
2031Game  1.80.2           
2033Game  1.44.7           
2034Game  12.79.3          0.4
2035Game  15.90.9          10.9
2036Game              0.0
Numbers in this table represent the number of minutes played at each position. ST represents special teams positions other than K or P.

Career Transactions
DateTransaction
02-28-2040Hands Espenson has retired from football.
08-24-2037The New England Red Soxx have waived Hands Espenson.
05-01-2033The New England Red Soxx have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
08-11-2031The Providence Devine have waived Hands Espenson.
08-04-2031The Providence Devine have placed Hands Espenson on the trade block.
04-27-2031The Providence Devine have moved Bo P, G G, Fuzzy Undercoat, G Whiz, Zazu Pitts, Charley Johnson, Glenn Fullington, Irv Anderson, Louie Kamana, Hood Wink, Harry Cookie, Ted Houston, Hands Espenson, and Apos Throphie to the active roster. The Providence Devine have moved Hum San, Dee Fatt, Craig Smith, JJ Canasta, Tazo Lee, Mike Palmer, Tin Man, Beef Pudding, Horace Hollomon, Daddy Itchol, Hour Neighbor, Buck King, and Wally Cox to the inactive roster.
04-27-2031The Providence Devine have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
08-19-2030The Edmonton Frostbite have waived Hands Espenson.
08-05-2030The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Lewis Jarvis, Frank Mays, Mark Neuman, Lawrence Bedner, Tom Allotey, and Joe Cooke to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Dextor Perplextor, Damien Walls, Aaron Onasida-Caushen, Hands Espenson, DeVille Maycare, Taco Grande, and Mike Hoffman to the inactive roster.
11-26-2029The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Ken Crowe, Hands Espenson, and Buckwheat Shortstack to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Brazillian Waxler and Eaton Crowe to the inactive roster.
08-27-2029The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Brazillian Waxler, Knucklehead Fred, Bubbles Belcher, Yukon Cornelius, and Billy Wing Tips Johnson to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Tomale Pasquale, Tyrone Kraynak, Hands Espenson, and Don Griese to the inactive roster.
08-06-2029The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Hands Espenson, Josh Evers, Don Griese, Buckwheat Shortstack, Frank McFadden, Tony Hummon, and Mike Wilging to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Knucklehead Fred, Bubbles Belcher, Mack Nuggets, Billy Wing Tips Johnson, Pinky Tuscadero, Eaton Crowe, and Brazillian Waxler to the inactive roster.
01-01-2029The Edmonton Frostbite have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
12-31-2028The Edmonton Frostbite have automatically waived Hands Espenson to comply with the 53-man roster limit.
12-25-2028The Edmonton Frostbite have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
12-24-2028The Providence Devine have automatically waived Hands Espenson to comply with the 53-man roster limit.
12-17-2028The Providence Devine have moved Tazo Lee to the active roster. The Providence Devine have moved Hands Espenson to the inactive roster.
11-26-2028The Providence Devine have moved Hands Espenson and Hour Neighbor to the active roster. The Providence Devine have moved Tazo Lee and Horace Hollomon to the inactive roster.
09-18-2028The Providence Devine have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
09-11-2028The Montreal Mastodon have waived Hands Espenson.
09-04-2028The Montreal Mastodon have moved Hands Espenson to the active roster.
09-04-2028The Montreal Mastodon have acquired Hands Espenson from the waiver wire.
08-28-2028The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have waived Hands Espenson.
08-28-2028The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Charleze Pride, Mitch N. Maxim, Spody Oatie, Grab Holt, Don McGrath, and Hal Nice to the active roster. The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Abel Semen, Terrence Gartner, Pianist DeMilo, Adulterated Wimp, and Hands Espenson to the inactive roster.
08-07-2028The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Pianist DeMilo, Ivan Ardon, Terrence Gartner, Jim Jones, Adulterated Wimp, and Hands Espenson to the active roster. The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Grab Holt, Charleze Pride, Don McGrath, Spody Oatie, Mitch N. Maxim, and Hal Nice to the inactive roster.
08-31-2026The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Toxic Joe Spiller, Mitch N. Maxim, Snuggles Ruggles, Grab Holt, Peter Pesky, Jack Clark, and Fun Gus Amongus to the active roster. The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Crazy Chickilla, Pianist DeMilo, Len Lease, Adulterated Wimp, Onehand Laughing, Lars Blackoch, and Hands Espenson to the inactive roster.
08-17-2026The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Hands Espenson to the active roster. The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have moved Snuggles Ruggles to the inactive roster.
08-17-2026The Memphis Mephitic Miasma have changed Larry Kozlek's name to Hands Espenson.