Curly Lambeau Football League
08-05-2069
#74|Upton Wazoo Defensive End
Retired (2034, Age 33)
BIOGRAPHICAL DATA
Total Rating B+  Help Conditioning 95%
Status Retired (2034) Potential B 
Age 67 Born 11-26-2001 in Jasper, TX
Drafted Round 2, Pick 29 (2025) Experience 9 Years (160 Wks)
College Portland University, 2025 Salary 745 ($49.658M/2069 $)
OFFENSE DEFENSE SPEC TEAMS
Throw Power D+ Catching C+ Pass Cover C  Kick Power D 
Throw Acc D  Pass Blocking D- Run Cover A- Kick Acc D 
Carrying C- Run Blocking C- Tackling B  Kick Return D-
        Pursuit C+    
PHYSICAL MENTAL DEXTERITY
Speed C+ Stamina C  Execution B+ Agility A-
Strength B+ Health D+ Aggressiveness C+ Hands C 
Jumping A-     Attitude C+ Break Tackle D 
ROLES
QB D+ C D+ DT B  SS B- K F  GUN B-
WR C  G C  DE B+ FS C+ P F  KR C-
HB/TB C- T C  ILB B  CB C+ LS D  KRB C 
FB C- TE C- OLB B- H D+ HT C+ KOS D-
Year Team G GS TKL SOLO AST SACK SAF STF DEF BRK INT INTY AVG LNG TD FF
2025 EDM 3 0 0 0 0 0.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 0
2026 EDM 16 12 0 0 0 7.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 2
2027 EDM 14 14 0 0 0 12.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 2
2028 EDM 16 16 0 0 0 11.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 1
2029 EDM 16 16 0 0 0 6.0 0 0.0 1 0 1 4 4.0 4 0 2
2030 EDM 16 16 0 0 0 5.0 0 0.0 1 0 1 0 0.0 0 0 0
2031 EDM 16 16 0 0 0 9.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 3
2032 EDM 9 9 0 0 0 3.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 0
2033 EDM 8 0 0 0 0 0.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 0
2034 EDM 6 0 0 0 0 0.0 0 0.0 0 0 0 0 -- 0 0 0
Total   120 99 0 0 0 53.0 0 0.0 2 0 2 4 2.0 4 0 10

Career Transactions
DateTransaction
02-28-2035Upton Wazoo has retired from football.
10-22-2034The Edmonton Frostbite have waived Upton Wazoo.
09-04-2034The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo to the active roster.
09-04-2034The Edmonton Frostbite have acquired Upton Wazoo from the waiver wire.
01-02-2034The Edmonton Frostbite have waived Upton Wazoo.
11-07-2033The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Brad Rodgers, Bill Reed, Brian Sartin, Doc Ivanich, and Spud Mackenzie to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Homer Fogbottom, Upton Wazoo, Bubba O'Reilly, Ken Crowe, and James Benkert to the inactive roster.
09-04-2033The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo, Bubba O'Reilly, Stoney Curtis, and Trick Dickle to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Brad Rodgers and Tim Turner to the inactive roster.
08-08-2033The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Chuck Afitt, Pee Wee Hyman, Dave Roth, Curtis Barrington, Wes Voight, Chris Moss, Brian Sartin, and Irv Campbell to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Jumbo Johnson, Stoney Curtis, Upton Wazoo, Saxon Bradley, Bubba O'Reilly, Taco Grande, Trick Dickle, and Joe Cooke to the inactive roster.
12-27-2032The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Irv Campbell to the inactive roster.
11-08-2032The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Irv Campbell to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo to the inactive roster.
11-07-2032Upton Wazoo of the Edmonton Frostbite is injured with a hand fracture and is expected to be out for approximately 46 days.
12-20-2027The Edmonton Frostbite have placed Upton Wazoo on the Injured Reserve list for the remainder of the season.
12-19-2027Upton Wazoo of the Edmonton Frostbite is injured with an ankle ligament sprain and is expected to be out for approximately 22 days.
08-10-2026The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Rayna Rice, Upton Wazoo, Bob Haddix, Marvin Weller, Dee Flatt, and Mel Hampton to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Adrian Frerotte, Pete Owens, O.Z. Osborne, Professor Toru Tanaka, Dark Helmet, and Burnell Bird to the inactive roster.
10-13-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Dextor Perplextor and Furious George to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo and Pat Tommerson to the inactive roster.
09-28-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Furious George to the inactive roster.
09-15-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved L'Vernon Surly to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Upton Wazoo to the inactive roster.
09-08-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have changed Charley Bartholomew's name to Upton Wazoo.
09-08-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Charley Bartholomew to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved L'Vernon Surly to the inactive roster.
09-01-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Punky Brewster and Pete Owens to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Charley Bartholomew and Major Lee Pistov to the inactive roster.
08-04-2025The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Charley Bartholomew, Russell Williams, and Dennis Stone to the active roster. The Edmonton Frostbite have moved Charles May, Vaughn Domnanovich, and Walter Gerardi to the inactive roster.